by Holly Osterman

Millions of women struggle with menopause symptoms every day. And we all have a story to tell.

Mine started in my late thirties, when my doctor told me that I was starting to experience early symptoms of perimenopause. I thought I was too young. And I was scared to death.

I wanted answers. I wanted to know what I should expect during this next stage of my life. I read all the books, checked out the websites and tried to get as much information as I could. But I also wanted to be able to talk to somebody who understood me and could offer some guidance.

Unfortunately, I realized pretty quickly that menopause is still a very private topic. It’s hard to discuss, even behind closed doors.

I wondered if I was alone. So I decided to do something a little crazy and way outside my comfort zone. I started Menopause ChitChat. I wanted to create a menopause forum where women could feel comfortable asking questions, getting information and —most importantly—sharing their stories.

But I was a little nervous. Would anyone visit the website? Do they care? Would anyone actually be willing to talk about menopause openly?

I started the menopause forum with a single question: What’s Your Story? To my surprise, they did care. It’s been almost seven years and hundreds women have openly shared their stories. We’ve had almost 2,500 responses and nearly 68,000 views just in that single discussion.

Menopause ChitChat Testimonial

How do you explain why so many women would be so candid in talking about such a “taboo” subject? Well, as I’ve watched our community grow, I’ve noticed a few things and made some observations along the way:

Our stories are all different. Sure, most women suffer through many of the same menopause symptoms. We get hot flashes. We have crazy mood swings that drive our families crazy. And anxiety sets in a little too often. But we all come from different places and experience menopause in different ways. Some of our members are in their thirties and others in their sixties. We’re wives, mothers, or grandmothers. Many are single or divorced. But we all have our own unique stories to tell.

Sometimes, we just need to vent without bring judged. Okay, you had a really bad day. You almost punched somebody at the office and your husband or significant other is getting on your nerves. We’ve all been there. Many of the women who have responded to the discussion really opened up and ranted about things happening in their lives. And most felt a lot better after they did.

We need to feel safe. Look, we know menopause is hard enough to talk about. So when we started the forum, we realized it needed to be absolutely private. All members need to be approved and we have a screening process. Would we have been able to reach more women if we just created a public message board? Probably. And we also keep an eye on conversations and edit posts once in a while. It may seem a little heavy-handed, but everybody needs to feel comfortable, and safe, when they’re sharing their serious issues.

We can’t always talk to family or friends. Wouldn’t it be great if you could sit down with your mom, sister, or your best friend to have a serious conversation about menopause? Well, if you’ve ever tried it, you’ve realized that it can be a little awkward. It’s incredible that so many women are more open to sharing with their friends in the forum than with their own families.

We have to pay it forward. I’ve been amazed that many of our members came to the forum to ask questions or get advice, then found themselves offering their insight or experiences to other women. Again, we’re all different, but it’s wonderful that our members are so willing and open to provide support and encouragement to others who really need it.

If you’re one of those brave women in menopause, stop by the forum. We’d love to hear what challenges you’re facing and hope you’ll share some pearls of wisdom. We’re all in this together. And we’d love to hear your story.

This is an update to a post previously published on Menopause ChitChat.